In celebration of Father’s Day, we here at Mimoco have put a number of our designer flash drives on sale! This got us thinking about our characters and the relationships they had — either with their fathers, or their own children. Here’s a list of our top 5 best — and worst — MIMOBOT fathers.
#5 Worst MIMOBOT Father: George R. Binks (Jar-Jar’s Dad)
It was mentioned before in our Jar-Jar announcement article that George Binks was certainly not ever going to win father of the year. No matter how hard Jar-Jar rebelled, George refused to give up forcing his son to follow the Binks tradition of becoming a whaler. Then came the expedition where George ordered his untrained son to take the wheel in the middle of a storm. When the family came to on the shore of a deserted island, instead of hugging his son and thanking the heavens that they were all alive and well, George decided it was best to attempt suicide stating his disappointment in young Jar-Jar. Now we all know that Jar-Jar can be difficult to deal with, but I’m pretty sure that Bill Cosby’s Parenthood never noted suicide as a parenting tip.
#5 Best MIMOBOT Father: George Washington (America’s Dad)
It was tough putting George Washington in last place on the best father’s list. I mean, he hasn’t done a bad job, all things considered. Being the father of an entire nation is definitely loads more difficult than most fathers deal with. But at the same time, he never came to any of my baseball games, and he totally skipped out on my graduation. Oh well. Better luck next time Georgie.
#4 Worst MIMOBOT Father: Thomas Lincoln (Abraham’s Dad)
Staying with the Presidential theme, our next terrible father is Thomas Lincoln. You’ve got to think, with Abraham Lincoln being the kind-hearted, vampire-hunting emancipator that he was, that it would take a lot for him to not invite his father to his wedding. Well, that cold shoulder was well deserved. After Abe’s mother died, Thomas Lincoln turned his son into, well, a slave. According to Herbert Donald’s book Lincoln “(Abraham) had not one favorable word to say about his father.” As much of a shame as this is, at least we ended up with a wonderful president out of the deal.
#4 Best MIMOBOT Father: Jor-El (Superman’s Dad)
Good ol’ Jor-El, head scientist on planet Krypton and father to the most powerful man on Earth (take that Luthor!). Now, it can be said that since Jor-El died before his son could even speak, and Clark was actually raised by Ma and Pa Kent, that he wasn’t much of a father. But that’s only if you’re ignoring the big picture. When Krypton was falling to pieces around him, Jor-El made a decision that most fathers wouldn’t be able to handle. Should you use the two working escape pods you have at your disposal to save yourself and your loving wife? Or do you place your child in one and his pet dog in the other so they can have a chance at a good life? Jor-El chose the latter and we should all applaud him for it. Not only that, but he sent the pod with instructions for Kal-El to use his powers to make sure his new home didn’t fall to the same fate as his old home. Thanks Jor-El!
#3 Worst MIMOBOT Father: Sarek (Spock’s Dad)
I want to clear something up here before I go on. The Sarek I’m talking about is the one from Star Trek TOS and not from the more modern J.J. Abrams Universe. The TOS version of Sarek was so against Spock’s dream of joining Starfleet that he excised Spock from his life, heart and mind for 18 years. This estrangement would have gone on indefinitely had Sarek not needed Spock to save his life. I’m sorry Sarek, but selfishness of that magnitude is not logical.
#3 Best MIMOBOT Father: Bruce Lee (Brandon and Shannon’s Dad)
Here’s another case of a father who wasn’t around for most of their child’s life, yet had an impact that was long lasting. A few years after the birth of his son Brandon, and a couple months after Shannon came into the world, Bruce moved the family to Hong Kong so they could have a similar upbringing to his. He worked his schedule around his children until the day he died and left behind a legacy that inspired them to be great in their own rights. It’s apparent if you look at the lives and careers of Brandon and Shannon that they both inherited their father’s ferocity and work ethic along with all of the philosophies he spent his lifetime trying to spread. What more could you really ask for?
#2 Worst MIMOBOT Father: Jango Fett (Boba’s Dad?)
Ok here’s where it gets a little tricky, is your father someone who gave birth to you via the old fashioned way or does the man you were cloned from also count? In this situation I will say yes; any other time, I’d leave it up to politicians to argue about. But that’s not the only tricky part. Should a father should be strictly graded on how well they raised their child? Do the individual’s actions outside of fatherhood come into play? Again, to the second question, I’m going to say yes. Regardless of how good things may have been inside of the Fett household, it is impossible to deny that Jango Fett was in fact a bad person. Allowing the Republic to use his DNA to create an army of “disposable” soldiers to fight their wars for them is not okay no matter how many ways you shoot it with Kamino saberdarts.
#2 Best MIMOBOT Father: Thomas Wayne (Batman’s Dad)
This Best Father list seems to be following a pattern of tragic heroes, and Thomas Wayne is no exception. Long before walking down the wrong alleyway and meeting his demise, Thomas Wayne did more for the city of Gotham than any crooked politician or policeman could ever dream of destroying. He created jobs and a transit system, and helped whoever he could on any level. Fact of the matter is, if Joe Chill hadn’t pulled that trigger, he probably would’ve been set up with a trust fund and a bright future just for being desperate enough to turn to crime. But most importantly, he cared deeply for his son Bruce and didn’t allow him to become spoiled by the wealth and fame that was given to him just because he was born into the right family. He taught him discipline, right from wrong and most importantly: why we fall.
#1 Worst MIMOBOT Father: Anakin Skywalker (Luke and Leia’s Dad)
You knew it was coming. Nothing that was said about the other terrible fathers on this list could hold a candle to the terrible things Lord Vader pulled off. Staring directly at his daughter while destroying her home planet, cutting off his son’s hand and being the cause of all other sorts of mass genocide, it is clear that Vader is as evil as they come. This heartless man (though admittedly more machine now) even had the audacity to try and involve his son in his reign of terror. I hate you Darth Vader!! You’re an evilly evil bad bad dad!!!
Or maybe I’m being too harsh…
#1 Best MIMOBOT Father: Anakin Skywalker (Luke and Leia’s Dad)
Wait, what? Really? How could I possibly expect you to believe that Darth Vader can be the worst AND best MIMOBOT dad of all time? I’m going to ask you to do the opposite of what I said earlier and look at the smaller picture. Vader didn’t know that Leia was his daughter. You’re the internet and you can argue all you want, but it’s made perfectly clear that it isn’t until walking with Luke in Return of the Jedi that Vader knew that he had a daughter, let alone that she was Princess Leia. Another thing is the fact that he didn’t know he had any children. All he knew was that Padme died and he was led to believe for the entirety of his cyborg life that it was all his fault. Now, as far as Luke is concerned, of course he wanted his son to join him on the dark side. What father doesn’t want to go into business with their son?